“You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.“- Swami Vivekananda
On the second day of my first week (of four), I gradually found that this is not only a school of intellect,skills, expertise but also of self growth. It is definitely an opportunity to let myself grow. It is definitely an opportunity to let myself grow. It is a kind of growth that I choose myself. It isn’t because I have to, or I’m obliged to, or I must because of any other people’s willingness. It’s definitely the path I chose to be on.
While the vastness of the knowledge of yoga is infinite, I also found that it’s also connected to the whole aspects of life. Its depth and widths are inmeasurable.
This morning I again learned how to be more understanding and wise to others. Being judgmental is of course humane but wisdom is divine. Just because I can, it doesn’t necessarily mean others can do the same, and vice versa. And I really can relate to what my guru said, “ Do yoga on your OWN degree. Do it 100%.” Don’t struggle so much you injure yourself but never succumb too fast and too early. It is the pain that propels us to grow, not only physically, but also mentally, psychologically, and at last spiritually.
It dawned on me too that the Teacher Training has become a lot like the incubation center of transforming myself into a new “me”. I may not become the greatest yoga teacher but I am happy and content enough as there is so much wisdom to absorb, abundant life lessons to learn, and unnecessary, old, irrelevant insights that I have to unlearn. Maybe someday I will be a yoga teacher but even if I will not, I will still practice on my own. I don’t aim solely at that (i.e. becoming a yoga teacher, and earning money from teaching). It is too shallow of me to focus only on the financial aspects because I strongly believe that yoga is more than that.
The fact that I relatively deal with fewer challenges while doing ‘difficult’ asanas opens my eyes that learning yoga is not merely a mastery of asanas. Here a full grasp of philosophical foundations of yoga is equally essential to both a yoga teacher and student.
In spite of harmony, I also discover contradictions like yin-yang. While I always believed that yoga ractice should NOT involve any pressure, I deal with the fact that some degree of pressure is used to become a yoga teacher or even a yoga student. This non-pressure principle is closely related to non-competition principle very much, to me. Eventually, I must come to terms with the reality that even in yoga, we cannot get rid of that ‘competition’ thing. There is always a set of standards to achieve, which leads to an atmosphere of competition. Who surpasses the standards faster deserves praise. There is always a mission to accomplish. Yet, I realize that standards and missions in turn entail discipline and hence the pressure.
Talking about pressure and self growth, humans need pressure, in the right amount of course, to keep growing. Once the pressure is higher, one can make or break. One can either become a better person or a worse one. Perhaps even if I fail to make and have to break now, may the failure bring me to greater success.