Nurturing The Decaff Culture in Writing Realm

“Let’s talk about anything over that dark thick beverage called coffee”. No, thanks.

How I loathe drinking coffee habit, the caffeine it contains, talks that happen in the morning accompanied by cigarettes and laughters of smokers, who happen to be my coworkers, showing their rotten yellow-stained teeth at a small nook in fear of getting caught in the act by the human resource manager issuing the non-smoking policy at work. Tar, nicotine and caffeine combined, these folks seem to me like they gather for gradual self mutilating feasts over time. So let them get what they want as long as they let me sit down at my desk munching slowly my breakfast – 3 bananas and a medium bowl of salad plus its thousand island sauce – which seems to be the rarest kind to find here at the office. One coworker said the salty white condiment served with the salad is unhealthy but as I look what he eats and does every morning, I abandon his accusation. He doesn’t walk his talk. Such a let-down.

As a 4-year-old boy, I recall having been often awake still past midnight. The Sharp television was sitting there in front of us, as cumbersome as a pre-historic stone henge rock. Only this rock emits light in abundance. Motion pictures are always amazing. Five meters away from the TV airing the Juventus vs Sampdoria match on TVRI, sat my grand father, sipping his tall cup of black sugarless coffee. His image sitting there in my mind was somewhat clouded by the smoke produced in every breath. A heavy smoker he was. And then he coughed. Once, twice. On and on, until it ruined the whole family members’ sleep quality. I wish I hadn’t but I hated him for being selfish. The rest of the family needed proper complete night rest and he didn’t prevent himself from smoking at chilly nights when the cooler air may have exacerbated his increasingly weakened pair of lungs and aging respiratory canals. Now you know how evil it can be when soccer matches meet caffeine and tobacco.

As a male creature who writes for a living, I have been proud of myself who can live and function without caffeine, smoking, booze (which is not permitted to partake by the laws of Quran the Holy Book). I don’t remember when the last time I drank a cup of coffee, even tea. Maybe dozens of months, or years. But what matters most to me is that I am absolutely fine and healthy without daily caffeine intake. My mood is stable under any circumstances. So is my cognitive performance at work. And I could tell you renowned author Dan Brown and I have something in common: inversions are our ‘caffeine’. Hanging your body upside down, your head below the heart, proves to be a useful type of exercise to revitalize the slopy head in the afternoon. Forget others’ sneer and mockery as they see you doing the pose. It is only a matter of time before their derogatory remarks turn into pleas of help.

That said, it brings me to asking why bloggers, copywriters, journalists, novelists, essayists, translators need this addictive substance that poison human body’s entire system. Can anyone answer that for me? Because I cannot seem to understand this prevalent self-destructive habits.

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