“The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.”- Jean Paul
Within less than two months, I too will celebrate my own birthday. And that is scary, to be brutally honest. Being 30 is like a threshold of becoming someone old enough to settle down, something I have never thought of before. Like a feather in the wind, I am blown away to and fro by the wind. I like the sensation of being blown in such a way, knowing that life is uncertain and holds abundant possibilities and hopes. But in the box in which Pandora keeps the hopes, I can also find the fear, disappointment, grudge, despair, wrath, compassion, hypocrisy, ambivalence, sorrow, and so on.
I am intimidated yet challenged at the very same time. This is the time. This is IT. Being 30 is like the culmination of everything in your life. You are experienced enough, self reliant enough, financially stable enough, mentally and physically robust and agile enough, but not as weak and immaculate or fat and immobile and easily sickened as your baby boomers parents. These are blessings and why cannot we celebrate on them?
So when I celebrate my birthday next month, I can quietly congratulate myself on every milestone of this journey, both my failures and achievements, and calmly ask,”Can you see this life clearer than before?”
Maybe yes, I can see this life clearer but what I see clearly now seems to be a complete mess, a ball of entangled thread that is kicked here and there by a playful kitten.