Compass in Life after Losses of Significant Others

‎It’s called compass pose in yoga. Though it’s not the easiest pose ever invented, it’s not the most challenging either. Compass pose is great when you need a lot of stretch in your hamstring and both sides of the torso. It works so efficiently for the enhancement of bodily flexibility. Also, it awakens your body in the morning if coupled with lots of backbending postures that help stimulate the heart rates and blood circulation in vital organs.

Aside from the physical layer of the pose, the pose reminds me of the fact that I ought to stay faithful to the Ultimate Cause of life after I’ve lost 4 relatives in my big family since 2005. My paternal grandfather died first when my father was still a teenager. So I had no strong relationships and memory of his. We know what makes it hurt to lose someone is the loss of the memory shared together between us and them. But with my maternal grandfather, I was quite close. He was a quite and stern man with big moustache who smoked and drank coffee, two things I almost never do and never want to do in my entire adulthood up to now.

The second – which is the most abrupt and painful – is when in 2013 I lost my younger cousin to a fatal traffic accident leaving us troubled and deeply saddened till now. ‎She at first lost both her legs and also, after a series of surgeries, her entire life.

Later is when my paternal grandmother died in March 2014. ‎She was the one who dedicated her life to the sons, never wanting to remarry in fear of making her sons suffer from an unjust step father.

The latest is my maternal grandmother, who just passed away last Sunday (25/1). We came close as I grew up with her during my early and teenage years. It was still fresh as I recall her hugging me shedding tears upon knowing her husband left her alone for good. It took 10 years before she reunited with him. Well, they might be. I have no idea.

So when you encounter such losses of significant ones in life‎, you’ll get used to the idea that you cannot mourn every death. It’s true. Mourning is such a tiresome business to deal with. Dwelling in sadness would be too depressing and destructive like nothing can ever do to our psyche.

‎Making our beloved ones a purpose and sole driver of living this life sounds too ridiculous to me. I imagine someone, a survivor of tsunami disaster for example, who may go nuts and get mentally troubled after losing whoever he had in life. Is it any better to commit suicide as well? But of course, you can’t just do it, even if you really wish you were allowed to do so.

And when it comes to making anything your compass of life, consider thinking an ultimate cause higher than yourself, even your beloved people. Something timeless, unworldly, eternal and ‎almighty. So even if the rest of the world perishes in a blink of an eye, you won’t lose your direction.

J. D. Salinger:Penulis yang “Terkutuk” oleh Kesuksesan Karyanya

‎Persis lima tahun berlalu sejak penulis J. D. Salinger meninggal dunia di usia 91 tahun. Ia meninggal 27 Januari 2010. Karyanya yang pertama dan paling sukses serta paling berpengaruh hingga saat ini ialah The Catcher in the Rye.

Namun, Salinger bukannya bahagia menjadi terkenal. Ia lebih merasa terkutuk oleh apa yang ia tulis di dalam novel pendek itu. Apa pasal? Tiga kasus pembunuhan terjadi sebagian karena “dipicu” oleh ‎novel yang mengisahkan tentang seorang pemuda bernama Hauden Caulfield tersebut. Dalam pembelaan Mark David Chapman (pembunuh John Lennon), novel ini dipakai sebagai penjelasan tindakan keji itu. Ada dua pembunuhan lagi yang menyebutkan novel itu sebagai alasan.

Kepada wartawati Betty Eppes yang sengaja mencarinya 6 bulan sebelum penembakan Lennon, Salinger ‎berkata,”Saya menyesal menulis tentang Haulden (Caulfield).”

Salinger‎, melalui Eppes, berkata bahwa ia bekerja untuk dirinya selama mengurung diri dari pergaulan sosial. “Seorang penulis harus menulis karena memang ia harus menulis. Yang paling penting adalah menulis”.

Saya baru membeli The Catcher in the Rye 13 Januari kemarin. Dan apakah saya juga akan terinspirasi melakukan hal-hal radikal?

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